Sonya Elliot v. Michael D. Vick, a/k/a Ron Mexico
For a while I wondered, why can't Marcus Vick be more like his brother Michael? Being a sexual miscreant isn't the most redeeming of qualities. But alas, he's following in his esteemed brother's footsteps after all, proving that whether you're down with statutory rape or herpes simplex 2, this Vick's for you.
In case you didn't know (and you probably don't because this has been swept under nearly every media rug), Michael Vick has herpes... though this is something I could have concluded simply by using my common sense, I'm amused nonetheless. More specifically, he has Herpes Simplex 2... the gooey genital kind. When confronted by the angry STD recipient, Vick had this to say, "That wasn't in the playbook... but it shooooould be." ;) Okay that was a joke. His real response was, "I've got something to tell you. I've got it." Don't you wonder how he said it? Did he emphasize "it." Was it an italicized and bold statement? What if he was really dramatic and Young & the Restless about it? "I've got something to tell you (long pause.. glance into the clouds.. a bite of the lip.. tears welling up in the eyes)... I've got it." He nods at her and purses his lips as if to say, "Baby, this cuts me real deep too. I know I was bangin all them hos but you're my heart!"
What I'm wondering is, if you're hooking up with a man that gets offered ass 182,000 times a day and he was so discriminating in his choice of women that he picked YOU up at the club, wouldn't wrapping his shit up be priority #1? Who is enough of a crackass to think his bag of tricks can truly be trusted? He's Michael Vick. You'd best double bag it or take his sorry ass to the free clinic.
What should not be left out of this commentary though, is the fact that Vick uses the alias "Ron Mexico" "for the purpose of herpes testing and/or treatment." Ron Mexico. I'll let you muddle through that one yourselves :)
Ah well...
It's a brand new day, Mike. It's about time Valtrex got a new commercial anyway.
In case you didn't know (and you probably don't because this has been swept under nearly every media rug), Michael Vick has herpes... though this is something I could have concluded simply by using my common sense, I'm amused nonetheless. More specifically, he has Herpes Simplex 2... the gooey genital kind. When confronted by the angry STD recipient, Vick had this to say, "That wasn't in the playbook... but it shooooould be." ;) Okay that was a joke. His real response was, "I've got something to tell you. I've got it." Don't you wonder how he said it? Did he emphasize "it." Was it an italicized and bold statement? What if he was really dramatic and Young & the Restless about it? "I've got something to tell you (long pause.. glance into the clouds.. a bite of the lip.. tears welling up in the eyes)... I've got it." He nods at her and purses his lips as if to say, "Baby, this cuts me real deep too. I know I was bangin all them hos but you're my heart!"
What I'm wondering is, if you're hooking up with a man that gets offered ass 182,000 times a day and he was so discriminating in his choice of women that he picked YOU up at the club, wouldn't wrapping his shit up be priority #1? Who is enough of a crackass to think his bag of tricks can truly be trusted? He's Michael Vick. You'd best double bag it or take his sorry ass to the free clinic.
What should not be left out of this commentary though, is the fact that Vick uses the alias "Ron Mexico" "for the purpose of herpes testing and/or treatment." Ron Mexico. I'll let you muddle through that one yourselves :)
Ah well...
It's a brand new day, Mike. It's about time Valtrex got a new commercial anyway.
posted by Flash at 4/07/2005 01:16:00 PM
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