The New York Isotopes

Sick of the jackassery that is George Steinbrenner and the Yankees front office, I developed a rather deluded idea that if the Yankees failed to make the playoffs, Steinbrenner would be forced to abandon the $200M experiment and overhaul the organization a la Cleveland in 2001. I know it's crazy and I know it would never happen because it would mean 2 or 3 losing seasons while the Red Sox walk into the playoffs. But in the long run, I don't see why a youth invasion isn't worthwhile. All that said, failing to make the playoffs would only result in 2 things: 1) bankrolling a $350M roster, made up of broken, expensive old balls like Larry Walker and Jim Thome and/or Steinbrenner dying from a shock-induced heart attack. The latter could result in some change, so while discussing the issue with Chad, he suggested that I "should just hire an assassin... maybe buy the team.. its less illegal." And he's right. Murder is bad, so here's the plan...

The hiring of my righthand men, er, right and left hand men? I don't know. These are my guys:

President/CEO: Matt Geiger

General Manager: Chad Young

Senior EVP/Director of Player Development & Scouting: Alonso Warner

Consultant: Rob Neyer

Once team positions are established, my first move would be to NOT sign A.J. Burnett. After that, we're getting rid of everyone except Alex Rodriguez, Derek Jeter, Shawn Chacon, Robinson Cano, Bubba Crosby, and Chien-Ming Wang in exchange for the top prospects available. If a team has a problem taking on an albatross like Jason Giambi, we'll pay his salary in exchange for the best prospect they've got. Crappy teams will eat it up. With this policy, we'll be saddled with a ridiculous payroll for quite some time but we'll take it on because 1) we can afford it and 2) the only time we'll be spending money in free agency will be for can't miss prospects. These policies will last until the 2007 off-season when we fill in the holes and prepare to compete in 2008. With young talent, solid veterans, and a re-established farm system, we'll be good for years to come.

If Steinbrenner refuses to sell, I'm going to take over the New York Mets, change their crappy name to the New York Isotopes, and make them the best team in New York.

**This was written before Yankees clinched the AL East Championship but I think the spirit of my post still applies. Without a $250M payroll, this team couldn't even compete. It's horrendously assembled with nearly $100M of wasted talent on the roster. With a team so absurdly talented, in no way should this race ever come down to the last game of the season.