Virginia Tech: Perennial Pretenders

You put your right foot in,
You put your right foot out;
You put your right foot in,
And you shake it all about.
You do the Hokie Chokie,
And you turn yourself around.
That's what it's all about!

Before the ACC Championship game, the "analysts" were predicting Va Tech to win by two touchdowns and that they'd have an easy go of things because Florida State is lacking in talent. The Noles haven't had a first round draft pick since Javon Walker went to the Packers in 2002. Since then, they've only managed the 6th, 12th, 4th, and 3rd ranked recruiting classes (per Scout) and are working on the number 6 class this year. 6, 12, 4, 3, and another 6. Oh yeah. The talent is down, all right. God forbid coaches develop the talent they're given and then be held accountable by the media after failing to do so. It matters not the school - Notre Dame, Penn State, Florida, Florida State - there's some unwritten code that prevents analysts from slaying the sacred cow and blaming a coach; instead, they go the sackless route and throw the players under the bus. But moving on.

Thanks to BCS implications, I had no choice but to pull for Bowden's boys last night. I never thought they'd win but I tossed some shout-outs to Yahweh to see if he could force the Noles to play like a cohesive unit for a change. Well wouldn't ya know it - the Great I Am answered and then some. For three and a half quarters, the Criminoles remembered how to tackle, block, and even run the football. True to form, they tried to give the game away in the fourth quarter but Frank Beamer saved the day with rancid playcalling and abysmal clock management. Virginia Tech's propensity to thump teams in the middle of the pack only to have their dicks recede into their ball sacks once its time to prove that they're true contenders (see: VT vs. Miami) is truly fascinating. As a result, a four-loss Florida State just laughed its way into the AARP Bowl with Joe Paterno. I'm thoroughly amused. At the completion of this epic game, I predict that both coaches will die on the sidelines.