Jay-Z, L.L., Ashanti, Kanye West, and... Lebron?

Lebron James just kicked his agents, Aaron and Eric Goodwin, to the curb. I guess that's what you do after a 3-year relationship that, thanks to a $90M Nike contract and $45M in additional endorsements, makes you the 4th-highest-paid athlete endorser in the world behind Tiger Woods, Michael Schumacher, and David Beckham. What a bunch of fuckin' chumps! Hey Aaron, Eric! Nice work... You call yourselves agents. Shame on you.

"I'm stunned by everything that is happening," Aaron Goodwin said. "We did everything for Lebron to help mold him off the court and become the next big icon in sports. If what we did over the past two years led him to believe that he no longer needs an agent, then I guess we didn't do too badly." ... Aaron Goodwin said there was "no indication from Lebron that he was unhappy."

But in all seriousness, this is a big shame, indeed! The Brothers Goodwin aren't being replaced by major players like David Falk, Arn Tellum, IMG, SFX, or hell, even Arliss. No sir. While on the brink of brokering a deal with McDonald's, these schmoes went down like a hookers with a deadline to Lebron's highschool teammate and confidant, Maverick Carter (insert Top Gun joke here), and Def Jam Records.

I'll say that again... Def Jam Records.

Now, I'm not trying to knock the godfather of hip-hop. As an entrepreneur, Russell Simmons is nothing short of phenomenal. He forged his empire, incubating and developing a vast array of businesses on the simple premise that hip hop music and culture has a commercial appeal unlike any other across the United States and around the world. As hip hop blossomed in Iowa, Connecticut, and Paris, so too did his wealth, power, and influence. But what in the hell does any of that have to do with basketball or even sports? While in a lot of ways, business is business, I think it's fair to say that music deals and clothing lines are entirely different monsters from the game of free agent contracts and endorsements. Is Def Jam gonna hook up Lebron's new team with stylized, off-court Phat Farm gear? Will they promise to boot DMX from the label the next time he makes another one of those "Steven Seagal IS..." disasters in exchange for getting Lebron extra dollars? [A simple move like that would not only help Lebron but also help society as a whole. No one needs more Seagal or his "Commando"-caliber bad dialogue. I recently caught about 20 minutes of one of his suckages on UPN, where some sad sack "star" delivered a sequence of moving lines in a rather villainous tone. I imagined how he agonized over the text, going through the gamut of emotions that could appropriately convey the beauty of this silver screen moment. Would he opt for ferocity or a calculated cool? Would he be playful or somehow filled with regret? When it's time for the take, he notices that his reflection lays cleanly on the microwave window. He takes a fleeting glance. And then, with beads of sweat on his brow, and a bottled water in hand, he delivers it... "I'm gonna take you to the bank, Senator Trent. To the blood bank!" Magic. Magic that must be stopped] Would conflicts of interest arise with Jay-Z? He's not only a Def-Jam president, he also shares ownership of the New York Nets.

All my mindless babbling aside, what this comes down to is that I'm failing to see how this is an intelligent move. I wish Lebron all the luck in the world but I fear that this is a beginning of a whole new King James. He's maintained a pretty reasonable image since leaving the scandals of high school but when your entourage starts running your roost, forget it. All we can hope for, I guess, is that joining the Def Jam family won't mean a rap career is on the horizon. Frankly, that'd be worse than more Seagal.