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Sunday, June 19, 2005

Yankee Fans: Stop Embracing "Evil Empire!"

This probably won't go very far, as this isn't the most well thought out post and for that, I apologize. It's more of a low-grade rant, so bear with me :) ... Many fans of sport (and all fans of Sux) refer to the New York Yankees as "The Evil Empire" and were I not raised a Yankee fan, I'd likely think the same. Luckily I was, so I view it as a term of envious respect. Use it to bash New York all you want. I could give a damn. But what about Yankee fans that use the term to thumb their collective noses at the world by embracing it as their own?

It happens that while going about things today some goateed yahoo yelled out at me, "Yeahhh!! Evil Empire! We're strikin back, baby! Yeah!" He pointed to his shirt and continued to say "Yeah" and other things like "Huh? Yeah!" and "Ooooh Yeah!" The "Ooooh Yeah!" wasn't in the Macho Man Randy Savage "Snap into a Slim Jim" type of way but it'd be a lot cooler if it was. So let's just pretend that's how he said it. In any case, I stared at him for a moment and then moved on, but he started up again. When I failed to respond, he switched to Spanish - as if that would help. "Oye! Oye chica! ¿No tienes gusto de béisbol y del Yankees de Nueva York? ¡Estás usando un sombrero del béisbol del Yankees de Nueva York! ¡El imperio malvado! ¡EL IMPERIO MALVADO!" [Was it so hard to say that in English the first time around?] Then he approached. "I see you're a believer that the Empire is striking back. We're getting hot!" I asked him why he thought I was a believer. I mean, the hat didn't reveal much. Wearing one before October is a sign that I'm a fan but since apparel is worn just as heavily by poseurs and fools, I could just as easily be some tart trying to be stylish. Surprisingly, it wasn't my hat. "You're shirt says it all." I was wearing the Rage Against the Machine shirt to your left. "That's from the Evil Empire album, right?" I nodded. "Yankees hat, Evil Empire shirt. Makes up for not having one of these." He pointed at his shirt. "I got it off the internet!" It looked like something you got out of a kit and ironed on a Fruit of the Loom. But I smiled anyway and feigned a little envy. Luckily, the conversation quickly moved on to the playoffs, the new stadium, and my relatively macabre opinions that our recent troubles will be the death of Steinbrenner and said death will save the club from Dark Ages, Part II. Interestingly enough, he agreed but didn't like that I actually verabalized such a thing. We parted ways.

While going on about things, I thought about Evil Empire. I have only related it to the USSR and the University of Fichigan, and I don't recall any of those maize and blue skunk bastards ever making shirts - the communists either. So why do some Yankee fans support this trademark infringing shirt or Ponch's (that was his name) iron on design?
empire2 lg_steinbrenner01 lg_jorge01

Is it to reclaim the term, much like gays did with "queer" and the Vagina (I really don't like that word) Monologues attempted to do with the dreaded c-word? That's a stretch, for sure, but it's the only rational explanation I can find. Otherwise, these people are simply idiots [Sadly, some ND nutballs attempted the same type of shirt]. I've seen all six Star Wars installments and one thing I've learned is that the Evil Empire doesn't win. It gets no eternal sunshine. The Empire strikes back only to get bitchslapped around the galaxy by a guy with a Farrah Fawcett haircut, a girl with cinnamon buns on her head, Harrison Ford, and a genetically advanced dog. What the shit is that? We're embracing that? Making t-shirts, buying them, wearing them with pride? The hell with that.

Then again, maybe I'm being too serious about all this. Maybe it's all in good fun. I still think these people are goons but my opinion isn't affecting anyone. If the Yankees really are the Evil Empire, I pray that any team outside of Massachusetts are the Jedi. If the Sux are on the light side of the force, I'll fuckin vomit.