Manny Ramirez Wants Out of Beantown

Take away baseball and this woman wouldn't give an assclown like Manny Ramirez the time of day, let alone provide him with a namesake [And you can tell this kid is his because he is blessed with the same vacant, "which way did he go, George?" look], but enough cheap shots for this particular paragraph.

Manny Ramirez is good for a few braindead thoughts and ideas each year, none of which have any long term implication or bearing, so what's the problem this time? Next week, Tom Verducci of Sports Illustrated will report that Ramirez wants out of Boston (again) and is asking to be traded (again). Ramirez also asked to be dealt in 2002 and again in 2003 but later begged John Henry to keep him when the Sux tried to make him a part of the A-Rod deal in 2004.

I can't think of any reason why Ramirez would want to leave Beantown. Sure, he's on the same team with Mr. Self Important, who probably thinks he should be strolling in from the pen to the strains of "The Battle Hymn of the Republic," but where else could Manny go and be allowed to act a fool day in and day out? No other team would let him wear his uniform 7 sizes too large or retreat into a stadium wall to relieve himself in a cup in the middle of a game or exist in a world called Mannyland where he wanders about left field, appearing to be somewhat dazed and confused. But it seems that Ramirez would trade these freedoms for some off field privacy. Someone should tell Manny that when you're the MVP of the 2004 World Series and half of one of the greatest three-four hitter combinations of all time, privacy is rare no matter where you live. That said, being Manny Ramirez in Boston is likely much more of a problem than being Manny Ramirez in Arizona. Crazed chowdaheads are probably squatting in his backyard, eating wicked grindas, and daring him to kick them out. At least that would explain how the Boston Herald broke into Manny's home to snap pictures of Manny Jr's room.

As much as Ramirez's departure to another land would help my Yankees, the Sux FO will never deal him. Instead, I hope they opt to grab a few of Manny's wayward braids and yank on them until he learns to stop acting like a braying jackass.