Poncho & Lefty: The Pamela Anderson Roast

I'm not a Pamela Anderson fan. Don't get me wrong - I think she's pretty and I certainly understand how one gets rubbed off in her honor every 4.2 seconds but this time yesterday, I couldn't figure how any of that made good roast fodder. Though I can never get enough of NYC comics shitting on people, after 15 minutes of sex tape jokes, I was sure they'd run out of material. I was right but somehow, they made it work for the most of the show. And when they didn't, Courtney Love stepped in to remind us that she's still a crazy crack whore.

Great moments/quotes:

• Tommy Lee sang with his "band," sounded like a throwaway rock group from 1998, and when the camera panned to Pam Anderson, she looked like she was 3 seconds from throwing her moist panties on stage.
• Pam Anderson refers to her tits as Poncho and Lefty. That's simply excellent.
  
• "How is it that Courtney Love looks worse than Kurt Cobain?" - Jeffrey Ross
• Courtney Love not realizing that this is a roast -- she was constantly offended, kept telling people to f-off, and flashed her junk way too many times. She also insisted that she's been clean for a year -- apparently not: Drugs on the House!.
  
• Bea Arthur was a roaster and actually said "reach around." At first it was hilarious and then I fell out of my chair while being tormented by mental images of Bea actually doing a reach around... Now it's your turn.
  
• "I remember the first time i saw Tommy's penis. I was speechless until my throat healed." - Pamela Anderson, near the conclusion of the Roast. Matt and I watched the Tommy Lee-Pam Anderson sex video for the first time a couple days ago. Tommy Lee's equine penis is nothing short of frightening. In a few of the scenes, I was afraid that it would emerge from my laptop screen and hit me in the face.
• "Courtney Love is like the girl next door. That is if you live next to a methadone clinic." - Greg Giraldo
  
• "Tommy Lee, Kid Rock, Brett Michaels. Can't you fuck anyone with talent. C'mon Pam, you're fucking your way to the middle. You got plastic tits and a tin ear." - Jeffrey Ross
• "You starring in a show about books and reading is like Tom Cruise starring in a movie about vaginas." - Greg Giraldo
• "It played the cave in Batman Begins." - Jimmy Kimmel on Pam's bidness
• "Watching you in that sex tape was a whole new experience. Up until then, I've never watched anyone get gonorrhea." - Greg Giraldo
  

No topic, audience member, or fellow roaster was off-limits (they even got Anna Nicole Smith in the audience with "someone find a 90-year-old dick for her to suck on"), which is how it should be, but within a minute of its beginnings, the Pam Anderson Roast became the trashiest, most viciously crass roast I've ever seen and I loved (nearly) every minute of it.

Tune in to one of Comedy Central's 42,000 airings. If you're looking for the wood-paneled, gentlemen's-club ambience of the old Friars Club roasts, stay away - far far away. But if you're not some overly sensitive tool and you don't mind a right trashy laugh, it'll be well worth your time.