The WNBA Is Over. Thank God.

Last night, I was looking for the ChiSox-Indians game, or any baseball for that matter, but found nothing. On possible baseball channels were Law & Order, Behind the Glory, Best Damn, and the WNBA Finals. I'm the type of person that will get fired up over the World Championship of Tiddlywinks, so it might seem natural that I'd just tune in to the WNBA. It was supposed to be an exciting game and, for fans, apparently was, as it was decided by 3 points. Trouble is, I wasn't willing to endure a whole game of that nonsense to get to the riveting 30-seconds at the end of the game where girl X either clanked a last-ditch trey off the side of the rim or banked it in for the victory. Instead, I hit up NBC for the season premieres of My Name is Earl, The Office, and Law & Order: SVU.

I shouldn't be saying this for a number of reasons, but of all women's sports, basketball is the most painful to watch. It's not that I've been spoiled by watching the men. I enjoy all other forms of women's athletics - intercollegiate and professional. I'd admit that college ball can be entertaining when watching the elite teams play one another. The concentration of talent on those 6-8 teams is pretty high. But it still remains that there is no other women's sport in the world that has as many non-athletes as what you'll find in a run of the mill NCAA or WNBA game. There are three types of players: the great shooter with an ugly stroke that wouldn't know true agility if it goosed her; the tall, semi-mobile forward that uses her elbows to free up space for her 4-foot banked shots; and the girl that's slow as molasses but has a great body for collecting ticky tack fouls and turning the ball over. I don't include Diana Taurasi in this list because she's an anomaly and the players that come close to touching her in on-court ability are few and far between. But for the rest, it's like basketball is the last refuge for girls who want to be athletes but aren't agile, flexible, or fast enough to hack it anywhere else.

I know what's coming now - "Yeah but do you even play basketball?" Other than pick up games, not since AAU during high school. I found a different sport at which to truly excel. "Do you think you're better than WNBA players?" No, of course not. But I watch professional sports to see athletes mystify me with their abilities and talents. I watch them to be amazed while they do things with their bodies that most people can only dream. I don't watch other women's sports and say, "Hell, even I can do that." I can't hit a 110 mph softball pitch or return a 120 mph serve. It'd take me 5 minutes to swim the 100 free, not 55 seconds. But that's not what I get when I watch the WNBA. I watch them and wonder if they could pull together a team of five to survive Bookstore Basketball. With the exception of their All-Star game, watching the WNBA is largely on par with seeing a tournament of organized pick up games. I can get that watching the more entertaining And1 ballers survive ESPN's Streetball during my lunch break.