David Copperfield Finds Penis Unnecessary

Bad gay joke and acclaimed illusionist, David Copperfield, plans to up the ante in the magic world by impregnating a woman on stage. Luckily for the woman, Copperfield's penis will not be involved. In German mag Galore, the magician rejected the theory that there were only seven different kinds of magic tricks, saying "there is a great deal of new territory to conquer. In my next show I'm going to make a girl pregnant on stage. Naturally it will be without sex. Everyone will be happy about it, but I'm not telling you any more."

I assure you, no one will be happy about it if he stays the course with these lame-o plans. Here are the only ways to ensure customer satisfaction:
1) A guest spot from The Almighty. If he comes down from the Heavens to give us the lowdown on how he magicked up Jesus, I'm game. Besides, I'd like to see his skills at work when he has to calm down all of the freaked out Jews when we realize we were WAY off about the Messiah.
2) There's a live sex show resulting in a pregnancy that comes to full term and requires Copperfield to deliver idential twins as the grand finale. Frankly, I'm not all that interested in seeing a live birth what with all the goo and fluids but I'd be more than happy to fork out $29.99 to see everything that happens before delivery.

If Copperfield can't provide either 1 or 2 (or both), I call fraud. I liked this trick better when it was called Prince Michael Jackson, Jr.