Chelsea and the Big Red Sports Machine

Two bits of wisdom are thought to apply across all sports: Defense wins championships and meddling owners lose them. And though many owners are hands-on types that like to fiddle and tinker, there is another group that takes interference to a new level - The Meddling Owners Brigade. To be a member of the M.O.B., one must be a wildly wealthy, brazenly corrupt megalomaniac who fails to understand that his/her job is to stay out of the way, sign the checks, and let the football/baseball/basketball/soccer people in the front office do their jobs. It seems the crew, which includes Dan Snyder, Jerry Jones, George Steinbrenner, Marge Schott, Al Davis, Eddie DeBartolo Jr., and Jerry Reinsdorf, have invited a new owner to their sandbox of unwanted intrusion: Roman Abramovich.

According to the Daily Mirror (translation: take this with a mound of salt), the owner of the Chelsea Football Club (also known around here as Chelski, slags, tarts, whores, wankers, c^nts, and any other derogatory adjective that comes to mind) launched an official investigation to get to the bottom of the side's recent dip in form. After surviving 40 games without a loss under the guidance of Jose Mourinho, the Blues have suffered three draws and two successive defeats - one to Real Betis in the Champions League and then to Manchester United in the Premiership. It's being reported that Abramovich sent his key advisers to the club's training ground last week to interview manager Jose Mourinho's staff about the losses. The reported purpose of the investigation is to "ensure the dip in form was temporary and that problems with some players... would not become a major issue." But come on, this guy is an oligarch. It's only natural for him to believe that when things go awry, a conspiracy is afoot. As such, he likely believes that it's time to engage in old school Soviet sports machine terror tactics. Though I doubt this method will be useful in the English Premier League, at least he's being proactive. I'm a bit jealous.

*Update - "Tomorrow's press conference (Friday 18th November) with Jose Mourinho has been cancelled due to a number of untrue reports in some of today's newspapers." Yah huh, sure. Jose's in the hospital courtesy of a case of the broken legs delivered by The Red Mafia.