Absolutely Laughable

verrated

And so it goes with the high-flying Oregon Ducks; the second best that the Pac-10 had to offer. Oregon was snubbed, ya know. Sure, they were blown away by USC and one of those wins came against a 1-AA team, but they were more deserving of a BCS bid than the 2-loss chumps set to play in the Fiesta Bowl. What, you didn't see their gimmicky offense running all over that fierce west coast competition? Well if you had, you'd understand that Notre Dame and Ohio State are playing in Tempe for two reasons: money and the great conspiracy to leave the only true 1-loss contender in the cold. Rather than do what was right, the BCS sentenced Oregon to a wintery purgatory otherwise known as the Holiday Bowl and true to Pac-10 form, the Ducks had their asses handed to them by some jokers from the Big 12..

What a bunch of fucking poseurs.

For nearly 60 minutes, Oregon played football at a level of suck that is hard to fathom and did so against an Oklahoma squad that, though improving, had no business beating a Top 10 team. Oregon's receivers were lightning quick but had hands made of stone, their linemen were soft as cotton and couldn't dominate a blowup doll tied to a bed let alone the lines of scrimmage, and their quarterbacks? Remember that episode of Seinfeld (I think it was "The Summer of George") where Jerry and George work together to date one woman?

George: Listen to me. We're always sitting here. I'm always helping you with your girl problems, you're always helping me with my girl problems. Where do we end up?
Jerry: Here.
George: Exactly. Because neither one of us can handle a woman all by ourselves.
Jerry: I'm trying.
George: I've tried. We don't have it. But maybe the two of us, working together, at full capacity, could do the job of one normal man.

THAT is the Oregon quarterback situation where the role of Jerry is being played by Brady Leaf, brother of the biggest bust in NFL history... how's that for a pedigree? The kid has a $10M arm and a 10 cent head but that's neither here nor there. Oklahoma should have won this game by at least two touchdowns but lucky for the Ducks, Bob Stoops sphincter started to pucker in a way familiar only to Lloyd Carr and Adrian Peterson's football IQ is about 20 points lower than his regular IQ.

Here's a tip, not only to Oregon, but also to Tom Hansen of the Pac-10 and whatever school finishes 2nd in the conference next year: if you spend a month whining about how deserving you are and how much you've been disrespected, you'd best show up and shock the world when game time comes round. For the second straight year, Pac-10 teams have not only failed to show up, they've been exposed for the overhyped frauds everyone not living on the west coast knew them to be. We're through with you Pac-10. You've officially forfeited your right to bitch. Your conference is comprised of USC and various sacks of beans that take turns being the sham of the year. Get used to that.