Cane Me. I Read Jay Mohr Again.

I've got another update at SportsbyBrooks this morning where I hit on such things as:

• Peter Frampton gave Denny Neagle head
• Brent Petway: Michigan Wolverines baller and worst rapper known to man
• Who's "the rich white guy" in the Pennsylvania gubernatorial campaign?
• Princeton tries to disassociate itself from Bill Cowher
• The USA Rock Paper Scissors League
• and more safe for work goodness.

One thing I didn't include and should've was this article by Jay Mohr, which is, quite possibly, the most mentally defective thing he's ever written... if you've read any of Mohr's "pieces," you'll quickly realize that this newest installment of suck takes things to a whole new level, as Mohr laughs at black people and a few random Euros for having names that aren't quite up to the Anglo Saxon status quo. And while I'm sure the gist of these comments have crossed the minds of many people, the least Mohr can do is make it funny. Here are his jokes:

The two Earls (Boykins) play with a kid named Carmelo. Carmelo? Like the candy bar? I can see family day at the Pepsi Center now, "Hi, I'm Carmelo. This is my little brother, Nutrageous."

Some NBA parents seem to like French pronouns. Take, for example, LeBron James. Translated from French, this would be "The Bron," which would make his name Bron, which is what everyone calls him anyway. I have a question, though: If LeBron's mom had a baby girl, would the world have welcomed a LaBron?

Bonzi Wells may or may not have been named after a tree. Does he have a brother named "Birch"? Is he related to Charles Oakley? These are mysteries we may never know the answers to.

No Jay, what we don't have answers to is how you continue to be published and profiled week after week. Christ, I could've come up with these goddamn jokes but at least I'd have an excuse: I'm not a fucking comedian and no one pays me to be funny! Even though reading his tripe is like throwing my mind into a meat grinder, I keep doing it. Week after week I fall prey to the colorful blurb. "What will Jay suck about today, I ask" and off I go a-readin, only to be pissed off 4.2 seconds later. I ought to be bent over and caned. I'm ashamed of myself. Don't waste your life clicking that link... My deepest apologies for providing it.