Teaching Life Lessons

I went back to my office after lunch and saw that my bags were gone and the place was empty save the secretaries and the pastries they pretend not to eat, so I grabbed my iPod, yo-yo, and a pack of Starburst and headed out. [For those of you that remember my version of 10 Things that Every Single Girl Must Own, my yo-yo would come in at #11, followed by my hacky sack (or some type of kickable ball) at #12.] I had some time to kill, so I hacked a little while playing with my yo-yo, and then I heard, "My dad says people that do all that stuff you do are smoking drugs."

[Boss's son: like Boss but smaller, cuter, more of a wise-ass, and a voice that cracks on every 5th syllable. He asked me to his school dance last week but when I declined because being Mrs. Robinson isn't cool when they're not legal, he told me I didn't know a good thing when I saw it and I'd be sorry. I told him to find me in 10 years and we'll see. We pinky-swore on it.]

I stared at him for a minute and then asked him to repeat himself. "Well, you're doing stuff just like the kids at school that do drugs." Five years removed from high school, it's refreshing to hear the stoner kids that stand in a circle before school and at lunch hacking the minutes away, stopping only to inhale pixy sticks and Cheetos, live on. I asked him if he's ever seen me "smoking drugs" but he responded by saying that he's seen me "drink Gatorade like it's drugs." At least he didn't mention the Vicodin. Burned, I changed the subject. We chatted for a few and then I held my bag out, "You wanna do it... don't you?" I asked him in that peer pressure/after school special type of way that made me feel a little shame. He stared at it for a moment. It's a beautiful footbag. Inviting even. I picked it up at a head shop in Brixton - a London neighorhood. It's yellow with red swirls on one side and yellow on red on the other. Finally, he nodded and we hacked back and forth, rather unsuccessfully, before he asked to see my yo-yo. I have at least one yo-yo on me at any given time but since we were about to travel, I had 3. This one in particular was a Duncan Freehand. I don't normally recommend Duncan yo-yos because they suck but this is a pretty solid piece. In any case, I explained to Boss, Jr. the ways of the yo and he got lost in matters for about 10 minutes until I stopped him and asked when we were going to smoke drugs. "But I don't smoke drugs." I reminded him about the last 20 minutes and he got angry and indignant. "Well I don't smoke drugs!! Just because I did that doesn't mean I smoke drugs!!!!" It was around this time that I heard "meaningful life lesson" background music playing a la the final 2 minutes of Family Matters/Full House/Brady Bunch but as it turns out, that was all in my head. I told Young Boss that making presumptions and stereotypes isn't good for business and all was well.

So in a fleeting moment of semi-adult behavior, I taught a child an important lesson that should carry him, at least, until the next stereotyping situation arises. Hopefully, he'll look back on today and say, "Hmm.. Stereotyping is bad news." And wherever I am when this occurs, I'll get a warm-fuzzy feeling.