Jay-Z and the Mighty Arsenal? Say It Aint So

I took great joy in the pain of the Red Devil Nation when an American wanker that knows nothing about footy bought the club's majority shares, saddled it with debt, and increased the suicide rates among its fans. But now, this joy is biting me in the arse. Shawn Carter, known to the masses as Jay-Z, is rumoured to have met with Arsenal brass to negotiate a deal which would make him a major shareholder within the club. He already tried to strike a deal with Chel$ea's Roman Abramovich but was turned away.

"Jay-Z loves football - he thinks the whole scene is very bling. He has also met Henry and thinks he is really cool. Jay-Z is a man who gets what he wants - and he wants a portion of a premiership club." - A source from the Sunday Mirror

I know as well as anyone that everything Jay-Z touches turns to gold, so his millions would be more than welcome at our club. But I don't want some guy that's ignorant to the game owning The Arsenal simply because he thinks the bloody scene is "very bling." Who's he gonna hire to run it? Damon Dash? Beyonce's dad? Should this rumor turn out to be truth, I hope there's an explanation as to why he wants to own an English club [that is viewed sparingly in America on Fox Sports World, by the way] upon which he can only affect the bottom line when he can pour millions into the MLS and revolutionize the beautiful game in the United States. From a business perspective, I understand the rationale - don't get me wrong. But imagine the possibilities if Jigga bought, say, DC United - the home of Freddy Adu. You can't tell me that a shift in marketing from the minivan moms to the playgrounds of the inner cities wouldn't create a booming multi-million dollar business for years and years to come.

Taking ownership of an established, high-flying, foreign club that can do just as well, if not better, without his services is no accomplishment. Jay-Z is a cultural icon that has the power and influence to change the landscape of American soccer. If he wants to turn something to gold, I suggest he start here in his native land. To accomplish that would be the mark of a true master businessman... it'd also make me feel a lot more secure about the future of The Arsenal Gunners.